Brittany's Story
Dear Teen Mothers Together,
On March 21st I found out I was pregnant. I went to my dr because I thought I had a flu and was puking all morning. But my Dr. took a urine test and gave my mom and I the shocking news that I was pregnant. I was stunned the entire day but after thinking about the life that is growing inside of me I was full of joy! The next day I had my estimated due date which is Nov. 30th and a few days later my best friend, Kasey, told me she was pregnant! Her dute date is Nov. 15th so we was very excited but we DID NOT PLAN THIS! Our parents believed we did but we didnt it. A few days later kasey went to her obgyn and had an ultrasound done. she told me she was 10 weeks and the baby looked like a peanut jumping around all over the place. I remember her grandpa saying it looked like a little rat to him haha. On april 21st (the day of prom) I went to have my ultrasound done. My mom went with me and my aunt and memaw were on their way. After signing a crap load of papers they took me back and I laid down on the table and the young technician began the ultrasound and after a few mins she asked to go to the bathroom and empty my bladder. I thought that was weird but went tp do what she said. When I returned there was an older nurse in the room and my mom had an unemtional expression on her face. The nurse said she was goin to perform a transvaginal ultrasoung so I had to change out of my pants and underwear and I laid back on the table and she bgan. I looked up at the screen and saw a dark speck the image got larger and my mom pointed at the screen and there was my baby! I saw the stubby little arms and legs and I could tell that the dark circles was his/her eyes and I smiled. It didnt click in my head that my baby wasn't moving..the nurse said "Brittany here is the baby, but the promblem is.." my smile faded. "this baby doesnt have a heartbeat." I started to cry but the nurse carried on. "We dont know why or how these things happen sometimes but miscarriages are very common." I couldnt look at the screen any longer. "Somthing just goes wrong with the DNA and the baby stops growing. This baby stopped growing at 9 weeks, I believe the baby must have stopped growing 2 days ago but it is hard to tell. We can set you up for a D&C on monday. Youre not going to want to wait too long because you could get an infection." I knew what a D&C was and I knew I didnt want that. This rest of the day went on with me crying on and off. The next day I got online and was looking up reasons why some women don't hear their babys heartbeat while 9 wks pregnant and some sites about miscarriage came up and some sites came up about it being too early so I had hope. Or you could say i was in denial. I still went to my d&c appointment because i hoping to see a miracle. I asked if i could get an ultrasound but the lady said i was only scheduled for a D&C. So I cancelled because I was not goung to spend the rest of my life wondering "what if?" My memaw has lost 2 babies and gave me information about what happened and what could happen and telling me to still eat healthy, be careful, and take my prenatal vitamins. She also told my mom that if I start bleeding that everytime I go to the bathroom I need to put a container of some sort to catch anything I expel. Which at the time wasn't necessary cause I wasnt bleeding nor did I had cramps. That changed on May 1st. I woke up that morning with brown discharge and was cramping terribly. My hope vanished and I told my mom. She called the hospital and when she got into the shower I got online and was looking up reasons for spotting while pregnant. Once again there was different responses such as miscarring and saying that spotting is normal. I went to thE ER and I had my blood taken and another ultrasound performed. Nothing changed. No magical life was blessed upon my baby. The Dr. agreed that the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. I was almost 11 weeks pregnant at this time. He scheduled me for a D&C which I still wasn't comfortable with. When I made it home I felt unemotional. Evreytime I went to the bathroom I put a crockpot holder thing in the toilet but nothing came out that wasnt suppose too. I had no clotting. The cramping got worse but down played it evrytime one of my family members would ask if I was in alot of pain, I replied that it was just like having a period,nothing too serious. My mom,little sister, and older brother went outside to feed our animals; this is about 30 mins later after I returned home from the ER. After they went out I felt like I peed on myself. I went to the bathroom and checked and noticed a strip of red blood was on my pad. I pulled my pants back up and went to the back door and yelled out to my mom that I needed her, she said she'll be in in a min. So I went back to the bathroom and I felt the need to pee so I put the crockpot back in the toilet and sat down and then all of a sudden the worse cramp that I have always felt happened and then it went away quickly. I got up and looked into the crockpot holder and there was my baby laying there in blood and fluids...My mom heard me screaming and was there to help me get out the sac. I went back to the ER afterwards and they confirmed that everything was cleared out and I didin't need a D&C. 2 days later my pastor said we could have a free burial for my baby. The next day was the funeral and I gave my baby the name Angel since I didnt know if I was having a boy or a girl. I am thinkful I had a natural miscarriage since I was against a D&C from the beginning. I am no longer with the dad, we broke up a week ago.
~Brittany, 16yrs old<3
This is the song Brittany played at her baby, Angel, funeral.
On March 21st I found out I was pregnant. I went to my dr because I thought I had a flu and was puking all morning. But my Dr. took a urine test and gave my mom and I the shocking news that I was pregnant. I was stunned the entire day but after thinking about the life that is growing inside of me I was full of joy! The next day I had my estimated due date which is Nov. 30th and a few days later my best friend, Kasey, told me she was pregnant! Her dute date is Nov. 15th so we was very excited but we DID NOT PLAN THIS! Our parents believed we did but we didnt it. A few days later kasey went to her obgyn and had an ultrasound done. she told me she was 10 weeks and the baby looked like a peanut jumping around all over the place. I remember her grandpa saying it looked like a little rat to him haha. On april 21st (the day of prom) I went to have my ultrasound done. My mom went with me and my aunt and memaw were on their way. After signing a crap load of papers they took me back and I laid down on the table and the young technician began the ultrasound and after a few mins she asked to go to the bathroom and empty my bladder. I thought that was weird but went tp do what she said. When I returned there was an older nurse in the room and my mom had an unemtional expression on her face. The nurse said she was goin to perform a transvaginal ultrasoung so I had to change out of my pants and underwear and I laid back on the table and she bgan. I looked up at the screen and saw a dark speck the image got larger and my mom pointed at the screen and there was my baby! I saw the stubby little arms and legs and I could tell that the dark circles was his/her eyes and I smiled. It didnt click in my head that my baby wasn't moving..the nurse said "Brittany here is the baby, but the promblem is.." my smile faded. "this baby doesnt have a heartbeat." I started to cry but the nurse carried on. "We dont know why or how these things happen sometimes but miscarriages are very common." I couldnt look at the screen any longer. "Somthing just goes wrong with the DNA and the baby stops growing. This baby stopped growing at 9 weeks, I believe the baby must have stopped growing 2 days ago but it is hard to tell. We can set you up for a D&C on monday. Youre not going to want to wait too long because you could get an infection." I knew what a D&C was and I knew I didnt want that. This rest of the day went on with me crying on and off. The next day I got online and was looking up reasons why some women don't hear their babys heartbeat while 9 wks pregnant and some sites about miscarriage came up and some sites came up about it being too early so I had hope. Or you could say i was in denial. I still went to my d&c appointment because i hoping to see a miracle. I asked if i could get an ultrasound but the lady said i was only scheduled for a D&C. So I cancelled because I was not goung to spend the rest of my life wondering "what if?" My memaw has lost 2 babies and gave me information about what happened and what could happen and telling me to still eat healthy, be careful, and take my prenatal vitamins. She also told my mom that if I start bleeding that everytime I go to the bathroom I need to put a container of some sort to catch anything I expel. Which at the time wasn't necessary cause I wasnt bleeding nor did I had cramps. That changed on May 1st. I woke up that morning with brown discharge and was cramping terribly. My hope vanished and I told my mom. She called the hospital and when she got into the shower I got online and was looking up reasons for spotting while pregnant. Once again there was different responses such as miscarring and saying that spotting is normal. I went to thE ER and I had my blood taken and another ultrasound performed. Nothing changed. No magical life was blessed upon my baby. The Dr. agreed that the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. I was almost 11 weeks pregnant at this time. He scheduled me for a D&C which I still wasn't comfortable with. When I made it home I felt unemotional. Evreytime I went to the bathroom I put a crockpot holder thing in the toilet but nothing came out that wasnt suppose too. I had no clotting. The cramping got worse but down played it evrytime one of my family members would ask if I was in alot of pain, I replied that it was just like having a period,nothing too serious. My mom,little sister, and older brother went outside to feed our animals; this is about 30 mins later after I returned home from the ER. After they went out I felt like I peed on myself. I went to the bathroom and checked and noticed a strip of red blood was on my pad. I pulled my pants back up and went to the back door and yelled out to my mom that I needed her, she said she'll be in in a min. So I went back to the bathroom and I felt the need to pee so I put the crockpot back in the toilet and sat down and then all of a sudden the worse cramp that I have always felt happened and then it went away quickly. I got up and looked into the crockpot holder and there was my baby laying there in blood and fluids...My mom heard me screaming and was there to help me get out the sac. I went back to the ER afterwards and they confirmed that everything was cleared out and I didin't need a D&C. 2 days later my pastor said we could have a free burial for my baby. The next day was the funeral and I gave my baby the name Angel since I didnt know if I was having a boy or a girl. I am thinkful I had a natural miscarriage since I was against a D&C from the beginning. I am no longer with the dad, we broke up a week ago.
~Brittany, 16yrs old<3
This is the song Brittany played at her baby, Angel, funeral.
Grieving The Loss of a Child
This is something I know very well. It's a very diffulcult time. Not everyone understands your pain. Grief has no time limit. Some may want you to just move on and get on with your life. But you and I both know, that it isn't that simple. I read book after book, trying to figure out to deal with the loss of my babies. But none of them told me what I could do for my babies. This is just some things you can do to help grieve and honor your child.
Phases of Grief:
-Shock
-Physical Signs: headaches, unable to sleep, stomach aches, etc.
-Denial: pretending as if it never happen.
-Searching and Yearning: trying to make sense of what happen, feeling angry or guilt.
-Despair: feeling down and depressed. Using all your energy to do the small simple things.
-Reorganization: getting through the day a little easier and starting to get yourself to together.
-Acceptance: starting to find new meaning for your babies life and remembering the sweet memories of the short time they were here.
Things You Can Do In Rememberance:
-Plant a rosebush or tree in honor of your baby.
-A plaque engraved with the babies name and birthdate. You can also put the baby foot prints on it.
-Write a letter or letters to your baby.
-Buy an angel in memory of your baby.
-Order a charm or bracelet with your baby's name or birthdate or both on it to wear.
-Start a memory box. Put everything that belong to your baby in it. Example: Sonogram pics, hospital bracelet, baby bump pics, a blanket, etc.
-Start a journal or book of everything you want to share with your future kids about their sibling, your hopes/dreams for your baby, etc.
Things That May Remind You:
-Seeing a friend and/or relative is pregnant.
-Baby showers.
-Seeing someone with a new baby.
-Mother's Day.
-Kids birthday parties.
-Anniversay of miscarriage, due date, birth, or loss.
-Baby clothing, stores, or toys.
-Children playing in the park.
- Children's music.
-Baby magazines or commercials.
-Going down the baby food and daiper aisle in the grocery store.
-Shock
-Physical Signs: headaches, unable to sleep, stomach aches, etc.
-Denial: pretending as if it never happen.
-Searching and Yearning: trying to make sense of what happen, feeling angry or guilt.
-Despair: feeling down and depressed. Using all your energy to do the small simple things.
-Reorganization: getting through the day a little easier and starting to get yourself to together.
-Acceptance: starting to find new meaning for your babies life and remembering the sweet memories of the short time they were here.
Things You Can Do In Rememberance:
-Plant a rosebush or tree in honor of your baby.
-A plaque engraved with the babies name and birthdate. You can also put the baby foot prints on it.
-Write a letter or letters to your baby.
-Buy an angel in memory of your baby.
-Order a charm or bracelet with your baby's name or birthdate or both on it to wear.
-Start a memory box. Put everything that belong to your baby in it. Example: Sonogram pics, hospital bracelet, baby bump pics, a blanket, etc.
-Start a journal or book of everything you want to share with your future kids about their sibling, your hopes/dreams for your baby, etc.
Things That May Remind You:
-Seeing a friend and/or relative is pregnant.
-Baby showers.
-Seeing someone with a new baby.
-Mother's Day.
-Kids birthday parties.
-Anniversay of miscarriage, due date, birth, or loss.
-Baby clothing, stores, or toys.
-Children playing in the park.
- Children's music.
-Baby magazines or commercials.
-Going down the baby food and daiper aisle in the grocery store.
National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Awareness Month in October
http://dying.lovetoknow.com/Pregnancy_and_Infant_Loss_Awareness_Month
October is the national month of mourning I rememberance of the babies who died through miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, SIDS, etc
National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Awareness Month and Rememberance Products:
http://www.rememberingourbabies.net/store/Default.asp
October is the national month of mourning I rememberance of the babies who died through miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, SIDS, etc
National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Awareness Month and Rememberance Products:
http://www.rememberingourbabies.net/store/Default.asp
Dear Grieving Mom,
I know eaxctly what you're going through. It's hard to avoid the grocery store, the park, and especially Mother's Day. It's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my babies. I wear a bracelet with their name and due date on it everyday. If you ever want to talk, vent or anything. Just email me, I will listen.
Always here for you,
Shannon
I know eaxctly what you're going through. It's hard to avoid the grocery store, the park, and especially Mother's Day. It's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my babies. I wear a bracelet with their name and due date on it everyday. If you ever want to talk, vent or anything. Just email me, I will listen.
Always here for you,
Shannon