I'm constantly wondering what it'd be like if my babies were still here. Unfortunately, if Nathaniel was still here, I would of never had Danielle. I miss them sooo much. It kills me to think that two years from now, I can have kids like I've wanted. Two long years from now..I keep telling myself "Time will fly by." Maybe it will, hopefully it will. I can't stand that I have to the right thing. I have to heal my mind and my body before taking the step of even thinking about trying for another baby. I have to finish high school and maybe even college before I think about family. There I go again, trying to please everyone but myself.
I'm constantly hearing those words in my head, play over and over. Not the words you think, not being told my child is gone cause I can handle those now. But the words from my parents, that I constantly get. The "You've learned from that mistake." Mistake? Just assuming that I consider it a mistake, telling me that it was. I don't see my cIhild as a mistake so no it was not a mistake. It was a choice I made and I see no regrets from that choice. "Because I don't want it to happen again!" Don't want what exactly to happen again? The having sex, the getting pregnant, or just in general the guy I got pregnant by? Because I know you don't like him but guess what? I don't care. We're fiends, get over it. Oh and my favorite of all that plays in my head..."If you ever go out and get pregnant, don't come home" I'd be glad not to. I'm quite sick of the BS anyway.
I'm constantly hearing those words in my head, play over and over. Not the words you think, not being told my child is gone cause I can handle those now. But the words from my parents, that I constantly get. The "You've learned from that mistake." Mistake? Just assuming that I consider it a mistake, telling me that it was. I don't see my cIhild as a mistake so no it was not a mistake. It was a choice I made and I see no regrets from that choice. "Because I don't want it to happen again!" Don't want what exactly to happen again? The having sex, the getting pregnant, or just in general the guy I got pregnant by? Because I know you don't like him but guess what? I don't care. We're fiends, get over it. Oh and my favorite of all that plays in my head..."If you ever go out and get pregnant, don't come home" I'd be glad not to. I'm quite sick of the BS anyway.
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